It Hurt
by Wiccacow
Summary: Tesla and Nnoitora's final moments of life. Implied NnoiTes


**WARNING! MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! Aaaand hints of yaoi.**

-

It hurt. Why did everything hurt? He hadn't hurt like this before. Not even close. Not in a long while. Not since he met Nnoitra-sama. Now it hurt more, remembering how he had treated Nnoitra any less than he did now. How could he have ever been so disrespectful to such a great man? Damnit; it hurt bad. So bad that he couldn't open his eyes. Or could he? He didn't feel like trying. It hurt too much. But he couldn't just stay there and hurt. Nnoitra-sama might need him. Probably not, but he wanted to make himself useful if he could.

Alright. Attempt number one. Fluttering of the eyelids, and then stillness. Failure. Attempt number two; almost got them open a crack. He wasn't sure how many times he tried before he got them half-open for longer than ten seconds, the white sand blinding him. He found he wasn't as blinded if he stared at the crimson-stained portions of the sand when he opened his eyes. When he finally got them open, though, he had to shut them. The ground was spinning rapidly underneath him, his head swimming. Why was he so dizzy? Was...was the red in the sand blood? Was it _his_ blood? He didn't know. His brain couldn't process once simple information at the moment.

With another attempt, he opened his eyes, not moving a single muscle except his lids. He shifted his gaze to see what he could spot from where he was. He could see blood, signs of destruction, and an unidentifiable lump, not even close to being able to guess what it was. He didn't remember closing his eyes, but he opened them again, feeling as if he had lost a portion of his life. Had he passed out? If all the blood on the sand was his, there was a good chance that was what had happened. He could feel his mind dipping its toes in the pools of unconsciousness again. No. He had to stay awake and aware. He had to act.

Slowly he began testing his nerves. He could still move his fingers and toes, but almost missed the sensation through the pain. God, why did it hurt so much? With a sad attempt, he tried to use his hands to push himself up, sand falling from the side of his face, before letting out a cry and collapsing, managing to get sand bunched up in his wound. Curling up slightly, he muttered bitter, incoherent words under his breath. Oh God, make the pain stop! Limbs shaking, he reopened his eyes, once again not remembering that he had closed them at all. Gritting his teeth, he tried again, only to fail again, at this point realizing his eye patch was gone, for he could feel the sand poking at the corner of his blind eye. He hadn't even realized he'd been opening that eye to the air. He would've if his mind weren't so overrun with that insistent stinging, yet aching pain!

Without even thinking, he decided to somehow get over to that lump he had seen. But if he couldn't stand up...

He'd just have to crawl. Just the thought made him flinch. All that sand would get into his wound… But something inside him was determined to get to the lump. His instincts were drawing him towards it. So he reluctantly put both his arms forwards, bending his legs, doing half an army crawl, half just pathetic crawl. But he wasn't worried about disgracing himself, should someone come across him. If anything, he was worried about disgracing Nnoitra-sama. Didn't want to make the Espada seem weak for having a fraccion like him.

Thoughts like that were quite short-lived, for he kept opening his eyes, realizing how often he was passing out, both from the pain and the loss of blood which marked where he had been. However; the pain seemed less now. Perhaps it was because of his half-thoughts of his Nnoitra-sama. He'd have to keep thinking those thoughts, then.

He wasn't sure how long it took to get to the lump, considering how many times he passed out, and how far it had seemed. It could've been a century for all he knew. Dragging himself that last foot, he squinted his eyes as to get a final good look at his destination, before his face froze.

It was Nnoitra.

No. That couldn't be possible. Nnoitra-sama was the strongest Espada! He couldn't be... it wasn't possible for him to be... and yet, the blood all over his precious fifth Espada told him otherwise. His mouth opened, letting out a pathetic, raspy noise of tragic shock. He had meant to call his master's name, but his voice had failed him, for there was a hard lump in his throat. No matter how much he swallowed, it would not leave. His strength pouring out of him, he buried his face in his throbbing arms, not wanting to look at his fallen master. Not wanting to believe. Not wanting to cry, but...

Then, a cough. Instantly, his head shot up, like a dog that just heard its favourite owner's call. On his face was the dumb shock he felt, almost not believing it, but happy to accept it as the fallen man coughed again, followed by a violent chain of similar coughs, red adding to the plethora of red already existing in the vicinity, trying to sit up but failing, and swearing under his breath.

With anewed strength and vigor, Tesla shoved himself to his knees, ignoring the screaming wounds on his body, shifting as close as he could get, unable to suppress his joy, unable to suppress the tears in his eyes. Reaching down, he slipped his fingers through those raven locks and under his master's head, gently cradling the Espada's head in his lap. He almost couldn't believe the physical touch from the other form. Nnoitra-sama... wasn't dead!

Yet. But he would not allow himself to think such thoughts. If he didn't think them, they wouldn't come to fruitation. That was what he truly believed, which was why the existing touch of Nnoitra's hair and cranium made his heart leap. He was alive. He was not just imagining the silky black hairs on his Espada's head.

The lanky arrancar tilted his head back in the other's hands, looking at him with his one eye, a gaping hole where his other one should be. He gave a stifled cough, before opening his mouth. "Tesla...?"

Tesla smiled warmly, but weakly, his eyes smiling to make up for his lack of strength of emotion in his cheeks. He brushed his fingers through Nnoitra's hair, putting it all back into place as opposed to leaving it all over. Nnoitra seem to think nothing of it, and rested his head again, closing his eye. "You're a tough little shit, ain't cha?" He mumbled with a half-smile on his face, making Tesla smile more. Despite his wounds, he wasn't being scolded? Nnoitra-sama must be in his artificial high.

"I wouldn't be your fraccion if I could be defeated so easily by a simple shinigami, Nnoitra-sama." Tesla reminded him, his working fingers distracting him from his pain. Despite his words, he knew he was going to die. He felt incredibly dizzy, but was fighting well to keep his consciousness. His eyes trailed down Nnoitra's body, spotting his wounds with a sickening drop in his stomach. They... looked really bad. No wonder he hadn't been able to sit up. He noticed the Espada's fingers and toes twitching. Nnoitra was trying to move. But only his digits were moving. That made the feeling in his stomach magnify. He couldn't move his limbs. With these deductions, it was clear Tesla had a better grasp on his mental capabilities at present time, unlike before.

"Nnoitra-sama..." Tesla started quietly, almost hoping Nnoitra wouldn't hear him. But the raven-haired man did, and tilted his head back a bit, making a small 'hn?' noise. Feeling the lump in throat return, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to continue. He didn't want to. He didn't want to bring his fears to life.

But it had to be said. "We're…going to die…aren't we?"

Nnoitra didn't seem to take the thought as gravely as Tesla did. In fact, the man had rested his head again, but Tesla could see he was thinking. After a few long moments, he spoke. "Heh. Sure looks like it." It hurt Tesla that Nnoitra's voice was very passive about the subject, as if it didn't matter at all. What hurt more, though, was when Nnoitra began laughing at the thought. Not a full-blown laughter, but it was laughter nonetheless. Stupid artificial high.

Swallowing his pain, Tesla replied "Well, then I'll have to stay conscious until you die, won't I?" He smiled, though the smile was sad and painful. Not that Nnoitra would be able to see it.

"Stupid; what kind of Espada would I be if I died before my fraccion?" His master questioned him, but there was still a laugh in his voice. Nnoitra's high states always confused him, though more so than ever right now. Wasn't Nnoitra in immense pain? He always assumed he felt little pain in these states, but his current wounds were critical. Didn't he feel anything at all?

A long and heavy silence passed between them, with Tesla having finished rearranging Nnoitra's locks and now alternating his gaze between Nnoitra and the sky, with Nnoitra just resting quietly, chuckling from time to time. His mind kept generating trains of thought, before losing them half-way through.

His one complete thought, though, made his stomach do a flip, and made it impossible for him to watch Nnoitra at the moment. What he was thinking about was real gutsy… but he didn't want to be scolded for it. That would break his little heart.

He ignored the feeling though, and decided to act before he changed his mind. "N-Nnoitra-sama... I... love you."

Silence.

"...Nnoitra-sama...?"

Still no answer.

He looked down at his master, eyes flickering over his face, watching for a moment. Then he noticed something.

Nnoitra wasn't breathing.

The realization pierced him, turning his muscles to stone. No... it couldn't be. No! His shoulders began shaking violently. He quickly moved his hand, his fingers grazing over Nnoitra's eyelid. The man did not react. He put his hand on the man's chest, moving it about. There was no pulse.

He withdrew his shaking hand, digging his fingers into his palms and gritting his teeth, frustrated at the impending tears. Nnoitra-sama would not want him to cry! He would scold him and tell him to stop being weak and to become strong!

But Nnoitra-sama wasn't here anymore.

Nnoitra-sama was dead.

With that final thought, he let the tears pour forth from his eyes, throat incredibly sore as he shook, starting to hyperventilate somewhat. Soon his eyes were red and raw from the crying, the tears trailing down his face with no obstacles and dropping into Nnoitra's hair. The fraccion curled up, clutching his master's hair with his fingers, crying like there was no tomorrow. For without Nnoitra, there would be no tomorrow for him. And his body would allow no tomorrow, for he was still losing blood. He knew he would die soon. But that thought didn't bother him. No. It was the idea that Nnoitra hadn't heard his words. Hadn't heard the words he had poured himself into. He did not feel reassured by any distant thought that Tesla would be joining Nnoitra in a third life. No. Nnoitra had told him there would only be darkness, and he believed him whole-heartedly.

God damnit, it hurt so much! And not just physically this time. He felt such a great ache as he had never felt before, since he had left his Gillian days behind him. He had eaten to ease that pain. That pain had not completely disappeared until he had devoted himself to Nnoitra.

But now he felt hollow again.

Tesla cried. He cried so much there were no tears left, and yet still cried. Still mourned for his lost Espada. Why did the stupid shinigami have to take Nnoitra-sama away from him!? Why couldn't they have just killed Tesla and spared Nnoitra!? How could they have killed his idol, his hero, his love, so easily!? He soon lost grip of these thoughts, unable to produce any coherent imaginings as his body began its fast descent into unconsciousness, running quickly to make up for the consciousness it had allowed the heartbroken fraccion to have with his master. With his Espada. With the one single object of his desire. And so his body leaned, slumping over as his mind was stolen from him, his body fixed in a half-sitting-up position, keeping an eternal vigil over Nnoitra's body.

He hadn't even thought of saying goodbye.

+Alternate Ending+

Before Tesla's essence had slipped away entirely, though, he felt some more physical sensations. He could have very well imagined these, but he swore he felt skin brush against his cheek. He could swear he felt breath on his cheek as the words "I love you too" were whispered hoarsely, filling up his hollowness, making him whole once more before he passed out.

But who could know?

He had probably just hallucinated.

-

**AN:;** My first submission, eh! A one-shot, too. Basically, what I imagine happened after the big fight with Kenpachi and stuffs. Most of my fanfictions will be one-shots. Most.

If I've got you interested still, the next fics I will be writing will be two Komamura/Tousen ones, one one-shot and one not, and another Nnoitra/Tesla one. If you have any requests, send them my way, regardless of the pairing! Including requests to have certain scenes illustrated. Even if I agree to the request, I might not fulfill it right away. Be patients, please!


End file.
